Today, I was talking to a friend who has been battling her own inner demons about this thing called running and her perceived inability to succeed with it. In my effort to help her talk the Beast down, I was reminded that, at the end of the day, it all comes down to joy.
Why do we run? There are so many reasons. Many of us take up running because we perceive runners to be skinny lanky people and we would very much like to join that crowd ourselves (guilty). Others, because we've heard about that elusive "runner's high" and about the people who run not because the "have" to (in the negative mandatory sense) but because they - mysteriously - want to (guilty again). Still more see it as a more attractive (and affordable) alternative to the feeling of being cooped up in a gym working their butts off and getting literally no-where with a bunch of other self-conscious people also trying to climb the latter of physical self-esteem and also going no where (guilty times three). And there are those who do it because they feel they have something to prove, if only to themselves (umm...guilty?).
However, regardless of our reasons for starting, if we're lucky or simply persistent enough and we stick with it long enough, we just might discover that there is so much more to be had. That at the end of the day, we'd rather do it than not - even without all of the other reasons. It comes down to the pleasure of putting one foot in front of the other and seeing just how far that can take you (and I don't just mean distance). It's about reveling in this thing we call the human body and the way it interacts with the world around us. If you haven't gotten there, don't fret. You will. Give it a chance.
As children, we run for the joy of it - because it's FUN! Somewhere between childhood and adulthood it seems that many of us lose sight of that basic principle. Movement becomes more about "must" than "want." Whether it's the general "running around" of everyday life filled with jobs, chores, errands, children, obligations, etc, or if it's another round in the "battle of the bulge" - somewhere in there, movement - for most - has simply lost it's appeal. Other times, movement becomes about hierarchy and proving ourselves to one another: how fast can you go? how far can you go? How many reps can you do? How many hours a day do you do? People - get OVER it!
It's true: running isn't easy - and I think that's because ours is a culture that has become largely disconnected with the idea of finding joy from movement. And yet, the fact that it isn't easy for most is - to many of us - all part of the appeal. It's because, yeah, we might only be able to keep up a shuffling jog for a minute or two before we need a walk break to catch your breath, but we're still WAY ahead of the millions of other people who wouldn't even consider stepping out their front door to go running to begin with. We're testing our limits. We're taking it to the next level. We're seeing what we're made of. The Beast can be a very powerful ally in these endeavors.
I have come to believe that being a Runner is about heart more than it is about PRs, records, splits, and races. It's the heart that keeps us all coming back for more. Running is the perfect endeavor to lend itself to the saying: "one step at a time." Don't worry about who's ahead of you - there will always be someone. Even the world's greatest athletes know that records are made to be broken. It doesn't matter how slow you are, how short your runs, how short your running efforts. Every time you put your feet to the pavement at something above a walk and that isn't demanded out of any other necessity, you're a Runner in my book - because you had the heart to try. You had the heart to test your limits and to test them again.
The only time you lose is when you let the Beast take over and talk you into a corner: "if I can't last x many minutes/miles, I'm a failure"; "if I don't finish, I'm a failure"; "if I don't finish in x amount of minutes, I'm a failure"; "if so and so beats me, I'm a failure"; "if it was that hard to do, it must be because I'm a failure." If this is you, tell your inner monologue to "SHUT the F#%K UP and mind your own damn business. Please!" On second though, omit the "please". The Beast does not understand niceties. I say this on good authority, as someone whose inner monologue is largely responsible for drowning out her body's inherent wisdom and talking her into her latest set-back. Trust me, it's good advice. Oh yes, to inner monologue, it's "Knee" and "Shins" and "Foot" who are the Enemy. They are Weakness that signify Failure and which must be Dominated and Conquered (just like "please")! But, maybe it's time to sing a new tune, or to at least tame the Beast.
The first step to taming the Beast? Remember why you take on the challenge in the first place (repeat after me: "joy," "fun," "because I like it").
Step 2: Remember that every step forward is a success. Losing is just an illusion. Losing is giving up without ever having tried.
Step 3: Sometimes, stopping is a success too (inner monologue, I'm talking to You). Learning to listen to your body and care for it? Yep, that's a success - because if you don't learn to listen to and care for your body, you ain't gonna be running for long!
Successes are everywhere to be had if you stop and take a look. Could've stayed at home and watched TV but went out for a run? Success. Ran an extra minute longer than I thought I could? Success. Slowed down when my knee starting to bother me a bit - SUCCESS. Allow yourself to applaud every last one of them and you will have come a long way on the road to taming the Beast.
Face it, most of us are not out there to win races or to medal or even win our age groups in small local events. Most of us will never take home anything more than a finisher's ribbon or medal from any given event. Perhaps more still will never so much as enter a race. Extremely few of us are world class olympic athletes endeavoring to break records and stand atop the world for a few brief minutes of glory, or even everyday champions and medalists seeking to break a hometown record. Unless you're trying to earn a living by your feet, you have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself. Anyone who is truly passionate about running will tell you that. We love and admire and applaud any fellow runner who gets that too, who has to run, because life just isn't life without it. We're in it for the joy. You don't have to go far or fast to get there - you just have to enjoy the ride.
And part of being able to enjoy the ride is learning how to tame the Beast so that it works for - and not against - you. So, if you're just starting out, be patient with yourself. Listen to your body - it's surprisingly intelligent. If you're just starting over after an injury, be patient with yourself. Listen to your body (paying attention, inner monologue?). Because, once the running bug has bit, you're not just in it for the short haul. Take it from a former Non-Runner, Anti-Runner, No-Way-No-How-Not-If-You-Beat-Me-With-A-Very-Big-Stick-Runner. Once you let go enough to realize how much running has to offer beyond whatever short terms goals you might have in mind, there's no limit to where it might take you. You realize that you have all the time in the world to get where you're going. And, if you remember that where you're going is really fun and joy, chances are, you're already there.
As John "the Penguin" of Runner's World fame would say, Waddle on friends.
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